August 2, 2012

Oh Youth, look what you made me do!

August started yesterday here in Manila, and we welcomed it with a storm -not with a bang as I had hoped. But it's better than what the past month had given me.

July was a melancholy. I think that's the best adjective to describe the hibernation I did. It rained most of the days. Stormed even at some occasions. But it was there, the gloominess that hung above me. And probably to everyone affected by the weather as well. 

Those days, I always had that strong desire to run in the rain and scream at the top of my lungs. Most of the things I surrounded myself with were for comforting myself -probably except for the book, Perks of Being a Wallflower which I reread twice in the space of 3 days. Now, that I think about it, reading it at that time was redundant -no matter how good it is. And to add more novelty, I started writing again during my free time complete with mugs of caffeine and a whole lot of junk food, of every thought and imagination that came into mind.

 I'm sure there was a lot of things I did that would make the Gilmore Girls adopt me. Just as I'm also pretty sure that my body was taken over by someone else, and I stood watching at the sidelines. But I'm glad I was able to do an emotional tumble without actually breaking down like a nutcase.

I think it was Aristotle who said: In all things of nature, there is something of the marvelous. There's definitely something about what went on those particular days that reformatted me like a computer, and humbled my ever growing free-spirit. Capturing it before it flies unprepared to the skies.

Now, I understand more of myself better. I find myself with this inner silent excitement for the coming months. And as much as I don't like psyching myself with things that are more unpredictable than women, I find myself doing such that. I realized that it's that kind of rush I find myself welcoming. 


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