If there's one thing I know I am is that I am a wanderer. And wanderers are like dreamers. They both like to be carried away.
I like to float away and just be somewhere on my own with my own thoughts. I guess it would seem unhealthy for most people. You might think I'm a mental case or something. No. I just love to go some place, wander or dream around with joy and peace in me -wherever I can find them.
Maybe I do have issues where the mind is concern. Maybe.
Maybe we're all as screwed as I am. I don't know.
But if it's the place where we take our refuge, a place where we can be ourselves -away from all things that makes us less than who we are, then I guess it's not wrong to be there for a while. To take comfort it in. To make us feel who are again when we're starting to lose ourselves in the confusion.
It's different for everyone. Some might like being consumed by their passions and express it in some sort of way like in creating something out of nothing, or even in destroying something -sad to say. Or others getting lost in the simple ways that gives them joy. Like me. Like how dreaming of a better place gets me by a bad day.
Dreaming is not just about thinking of being in an another place, in a whole new situation. For me, it also means drifting. Not the in the literal sense of just being completely taken away. But something more like being carried away by the things I love to do. Something like being drifted to a more peaceful place while a listen to the music I love. Or being drifted to a whole new place of romance, adventure, etc with the books that I read -where I try and forget about some of the horrors of reality even for a just a couple of hours, or even for a minute.
I guess writing it now, I realized there may be something wrong in what I have just said. There's always that in reality. You may not agree with the things that I have written or you may. It's your own prerogative. I just came here to write and to say what is on my mind right now.
It just turned 50 minutes after 3 in the morning according to my laptop's clock as I'm writing it right now. And it had been almost an hour since I reread the words, "The End" on the final book of the Hunger Games Trilogy I started reading around the afternoon. I finished all 3 books. I'm not boasting or anything. I'm just trying to back what I'm trying to say to you. About me.
I remember how good it felt like to be engulfed by the words of the author, to be taken away by the complementing music in your ear, and to be drifted away by your imagination. Letting time do its wonders around you, but still be in a trance like state that you completely forgot that it had even existed in the first place. Even for just a couple of hours.
I had forgotten how I love it. It took almost a couple of months before I am able to find that one comforting position and be lost in what the book that I am reading has to offer. Well, in this case, it required 3 books which sufficed.
It's easier when it comes to music. I don't think I can live a day without having to listen to something I love. It's something as close as important as having a couple of hours of sleep for me.
I guess the point of all this was to express what I had realized as soon as I finished the books -how these books and songs help me get by. For what I'd find out about myself in all these. Or mainly, just to express myself tonight. I hope you are as bonkers as I am to understand of all of these.
Now I want to end this with me saying to you that it's not bad to be a dreamer at all. It has its ups and downs, yes. But one of the things dreamers do best is of course, to dream, to hope for better things. And we all know how much hope gives light even on the darkest of nights.